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Today, I’m gonna be sharing on a sensitive issue that many don’t pay particular attention to and that is – virtual feedback. There is a when and how to give it. I’ve lost count of the number of times I have seen really thoughtless, insensitive, impolite, brash and straight-up wrong comments online. No decorum whatsoever…. Most times, when I read or watch stuff online and it’s either funny, witty or just there, scanning through the comments, I begin to wonder if it’s the same thing I read or watched that the commenter saw or if I missed something; few times, I go back to read/watch again, but I often for the life of me can’t fathom how something so nice or funny, or even educative can rub someone else the wrong way. For instance, few weeks ago I was having a busy day and the weather was so hot and irritable. I wanted to take time out and so I logged onto Netflix and got a notification for one of the movies I had earlier set a reminder for; it had premiered on the app that same day. I clicked on it and without meaning to, watched more than half of the movie (yeah, it was that good), had to pause at some point though, but rounded up as soon as I settled at home. That movie touched me in a special way. I felt the pain of the lead actress; it felt like I was right there. It was her debut movie and she did an amazing job! Even while watching, I recommended the movie to two people. A couple days later, the internet was abuzz with news about the movie; glad to say this time, they were right. ‘Citation’ was and still is a brilliant watch, hit smack home! You can then imagine my shock when two weeks later, I saw some comments online about how the movie was average, and a bad watch and how the lead actress wasn’t good and was just in the movie because her dad was rich and how blah blah blah…. I was stunned! What? I felt like correcting the particular commenter who said her dad was rich. (Oga, he is one of the wealthiest men in Nigeria, please get your facts straight. Rich ke?) Also, who says that people who come from influential backgrounds can’t have innate talents/abilities? 

I recently heard that 70% of people who try to shut you down at your success do so out of jealousy. I am not exactly sure about the specifics of the percentage, but I would have to agree with the general statement.

 People are so mean and careless with their words and this shouldn’t be so. I agree that some contents may be wrong or improperly communicated, but there is a better way to correct; always. Personally, I watch and read a good number of stuff and hardly ever comment but when and if I do, it has to be something helpful and encouraging. When I don’t have anything nice to say, I shut up and move on. The number of people going through not so smooth seasons in their life is alarming. Many come to the internet space to share and connect and the moment the attacks start coming, they feel its personal (which might not even be the case). I am not saying one shouldn’t speak up or disagree, I am only saying there’s something called ‘Correcting in love.’ This is done out of love and with sincere motives. 

There is also ‘Constructive criticism.’ The aim is to let one in on the truth without breaking their self confidence. You have to choose your words wisely and your tone has to be just right! Most people are defensive when they feel they are being attacked and so, if you start on an offensive note, you’ll most likely not achieve correction as the bottom line. Now if that was your aim, then kudos to you, you just tore down another one, hope you are happy? But if it wasn’t, then you’ve got to do better next time.

Correcting in love almost always works. ‘Almost,’ because no matter your best intentions, some people are so mule-headed. You can’t win them all, right?

Another reason we must be conscious of our words is that we might be at the receiving end tomorrow and the way we would want to receive grace, let’s extend same.

God’s Word says it best – ‘’Here is a simple rule of thumb for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you; then grab the initiative and do it for them!’’ Luke 6:31 (MSG)

Also, you never really know how close to the brink someone is – in reality. They may show you tough and fearless online but actually, they are juggling a lot and almost losing it. All it takes is one wrong word said in the wrong tone, and the person tips over the edge. The irony in all this is that most people who are savages online are ‘willies’ in person. When engaged in conversations, you will be surprised at their limited contribution (if any). Some are immature both in age and experience and with so much idle time on their hands, engage more seasoned and older persons in arguments (most times discourteously), all because they have access to a phone and internet connection. Guys, be nice. Assume the mindset of the next person. Help them. Correct in love.

I’ve been working on myself too in this regard. I do not do virtual feedback but I used to do a lot of face-to-face ones. I would usually tell one straight up what’s on my mind and expect them to deal with it, but God is helping me. I’ve noticed that things aren’t always as bad when you give it time and so, I either postpone feedback or just ignore the matter. Other times, I simply walk out or visibly calm down. My peace of mind is paramount plus the Bible says ‘’Work at getting along with each other and with God. Otherwise you’ll never get a glimpse of God.’’ Heb 12 : 14 (MSG)  Me, not only do I really wanna see God, I wanna be with Him forever and ever. Too much enjoyment in Heaven menh!! So, I better behave. 

Therefore, let’s put in the work to communicate our differences better. It always pays off at the end. Hopefully, I’ll also do a post about people on the flip side (those who put content out there).

Conclusion of the matter –

Eph 4 : 29 (NLT) ‘’Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.’’

If at the end of the day all you have is God, then you have more than enough.


#God is Love#




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