One day we were all chilling at home, and in walks my dear Dad. He started jokingly telling my brothers how he can now see where all his money was being channeled into; clothes! He commented on the jean wears he had just seen that were spread out to dry – trousers, three quarters, knee length shorts, all in different colors, they were about 13 – 17 in number, if I am not mistaken. My brothers (those traitors!) told my Dad that they weren’t theirs’ that they were all mine. My Dad couldn’t have possibly heard them right and so he asked them to repeat themselves and they did! I was somewhere close all along and so I heard their conversation and immediately they told on me, I knew I was in a lot of trouble. My Dad called for me and as I appeared, he asked me who had the clothes outside and when I confirmed that they were mine, he was dumb-founded all over again! He simply couldn’t comprehend how a girl could own so many trousers and not just any girl, his own daughter, and not just his own daughter, under his roof! Unacceptable! He wouldn’t have it and so forbade me to wear anything trouser-like from that day on. I didn’t agree and so, I tried to put up an argument; telling him that the fact that I had so many trousers and the sort didn’t mean anything; that it was just a more convenient mode of dressing, nothing else. He didn’t buy what I was selling, and so told me to pack them all in a bag when they were dry and never wear them again! I was quite unhappy and almost started blaming myself for washing them all at once and displaying them out in the open, but how was I to know that on that day of all days, he would pay particular attention to the clothes that were put out to dry? If you knew my Dad, you would know that most times, arguing with him was pointless, and so I just shut up and left. I was huffing and puffing and started scheming on how I would buy and wear the skimpiest gowns and micro (mini) skirts I could find in the market and how he would have wished he had allowed me stick to my comfy trousers! The thing that upset me most was that they weren’t even tight or low waist! They were just normal trousers, worn with the sole intent of comfortability. I still am not sure why he did that, probably to save me from becoming a tomboy or because he felt that skirts and dresses/gowns were more modest for a girl? Well, I was about to prove him wrong! So the next day, I went to ask him for money to go shopping since he deemed it fit to seize my clothes. He asked if I didn’t have skirts, I told him I had very very few. He then gave me some money to go buy more ‘proper’ clothes. When I got to the market, my liver decided to start acting up and finally, it cut. My mind suddenly flew to the Bahamas and decided to stay there and so, I didn’t have the mind to go through with my mischievous plans anymore. Though I got one or two mini-skirts, I couldn’t wear them out of the house. I found it so discomforting to do so. My Dad on the other hand, started paying close attention to my outfits and was so pleased with himself each time he saw me ‘dress well.’

He didn’t know how lucky he was that my plans failed, if not eh, he would have had greater problems on his hands. #rollseyes#

This went on for some time and after I got into the university, I jejely and gradually returned to my trousers abeg, no be me send monkey market, e no come back. One day, during the holidays, Dad tried to put up another argument (which I noticed was way weaker than the first) about this new development, but this time, I was ready for him. Kai! I was so ready. I had ‘facts and figures,’ ‘pros and cons.’ After presenting my case, even though he knew I was right, he still didn’t wanna give in just like that and so he said something like, ‘Well, I have told you my own as your Father.’

But even the heavens and the birds in the sky, along with the animals in the forest knew that I had won! Yasss!! I had finally won!

What I learnt that day which I had to learn over and over since then is that-

• There is a time to give in and a time to give out.

• There is a time to play the fool and a time to emerge the wise.

• It’s better to rein in your tongue no matter how much you just wanna let loose.

• Wisdom truly is of profit to you when you learn how to direct it.

• There is such a thing called a more convenient time.

• You don’t have to be a lawyer to make a good case; you just need to have a good case and present it well enough.

• Sometimes, you have to lose the fight to win the battle. You might also need to lose the battle to win the war.

• When people are upset or charged up, might not be a good time to confront them or call them out, give them time to cool off. You will be surprised at how much they will be willing to do your bidding when all is said and done.

• You might need to obey first and reason with later.

• People want to feel like they came to certain conclusions themselves; no one likes being bossed around.

• Most people don’t like change and are willing to fight it off as much as they can, but if you can prove to them gently and with wisdom how the change is for the best, they will be willing to try and most likely, will so love it that they’ll wonder why they fought it so in the first place.

• Give things time..
• Time does wonders…

P.S; My most comfy outfit now is a free knee length gown and loafers. Tight trousers always have been (and still is) a great discomfort to me. In as much as we like fashionable things, let’s not use that as an excuse to be immodest.

Let all things be done in moderation.

If at the end of the day all you have is God, then you have more than enough.

LOVE LIVES HERE

#God is Love#

#diaryofanunconventionallady#

#missbarnabas#

#daughterofencouragement#